Author: John Edward Marszalkowski
Publisher: Barf-Bag Publishing
First Published: June 28, 2019
Genres: Essays, Humor
Pages: 32
Format: eBook
Source: Purchased


Have you ever wanted to punch a random kid without consequences?
Learn how in this tiny collection of strange memoirs and idiotic essays. Topics include prepubescent dreams of naked women, self-help garbage, narcissism, unsolicited peddling, embracing the bare minimum, and fighting small children in public bathrooms.

My Thoughts

HOW TO PUNCH KIDS IN BATHROOMS is a quirky little book of anecdotal essays with a touch of humor. This book is extremely small, consisting of only 32 pages which the author notes was the minimum page count to be printed. This book is more like a sampler of sorts for this author’s work, the last chapter being an unabashed advertisement for his other two books.

“When I finally find myself believing I know the truth about something, I can’t help but evangelize it.”

Marszalkowski has a dry sense of humor that I enjoyed, and his essays discussed a few real world issues through stories of his youth, from grappling with puberty to the apparently real event of getting beaten up in a public bathroom by a mentally ill homeless man. I appreciated his frank discussions on self help books and what the true meaning of “minimum” expectations means in the adult world. I had only wished that this book was longer, as many of the topics discussed are ones that deserve to be discussed on a deeper level. Still, it was an enjoyable little book that I read while on a car ride, and it piques my interest in the author’s other works.

About John Edward Marszalkowski

“John Edward Marszalkowski is a man of many talents. One of which is pretending to be stupid. Though his academic achievements are limited, his capacities are not. In actuality, he is a man of great consideration and compassion. By engaging with life in this way, he enhances the lives of those who know him.” – Matthew Kopf, Esq.

Written by


I’m a Filipino American blogger, historian, and lazy writer. I enjoy books, video games, anime/manga, and smoking hookah.